Lets get to know me...

friends here in this post i wud like to find a solution to the question---how my mind works???
Numerous times has it left me in the middle with no way to come back..but still i managed to be where i am now.When i sometimes think of what i could have been i feel fucked up.I still recall the time in high school when i was invincible in studies--no question was there which i could not solve..even then i has this feeling of insecurity..my mind has some kind of inborn disorder--some kind of inferiority complex..i never feel satisfied after giving any exam..even if i knew i am getting full marks..(which i dont happen to get now..)..though i did feel happy afterwards when i got more marks than i expected..When i look back at that time i surely feel i could have easily made it to the best suldents of the country..But i never took the right decisions at the right time..Lets study the time after 10th till now..
I got admission in KVK..As usual i felt like doing bad in all exams while i ended up doing good..but this good was different from what good used to be..previously i got marks bcoz i felt worthy of it..but now i dont know there were so many things that i dint know..still got marks..thats when i started to loosen up..Thats the first time when i started to do

fUKC I FEEL REALLY SORRY TO CONTINUE WRITING THIS CRAP..i WILL CONTINUE THIS SHIT LATER...

Learn from me how to get screwed...

Shit shit fuck fuck thats what i curse myself when my phone rings these days.Coz i m proceeding towards something which i never wanted..i dont know how to get out of this position.Its completely me to blame just me...Lets see how i got into this...

This is again a GIRL.Just in my last post i wrote girls are out of my life for the time being but i dint know then that time would be been so quickly.I met this girl in my Uncle's marriage 'J' her initials.She looked quite impressive then.We were one of the so called 'marriage-time couples' then with everyone winking eyes at us.but that was all then..i talked to her ..she was one class senior to me.So we both presumed she was older to me and there was no possible match.but we remained friends.It was back then on 2006-7. I called her the first time a week after and i was quite hardstruck to find her mother on the other end of the line.I just introduced myself to her as quickly as possible and cut the phone with the determination of never calling her back again..But soon after her call came and thats how our callings started but completely as friends coz she was elder to me.Our callings were mostly on making fun.i did hurt her a lot of times.Thats how 1--2--3 years past.She was the first one i informed after making my first girlfriend.Thats when i stopped talking frequently to her..

After my breakup i called her to inform of this((see my fucking mind)).And she was more than enough sympathetic towards me.So frequent calls started again
Thats when the problem started.One day probably 3 days before i jokingly proposed her..Haah ..she took it too seriously..She told she needed some time to think..After leaving the call did i realize that haw can i propose a girl whom i haven't even met for 4 years.I prayed from my heart that she rejects me and we remain just friends..She called the next day and 'i am not able to accept ur reguest' i thanked god..........................but her voice sounded something else.I could feel a yes in her no...god damn it..I diverted the discussion that we should better remain friends...But but but..dont know how much i succeeded..

Next day we talked again for quite some long time.In the whole time i tried diverting the topics while she tried to converge my diversion.She kept asking me questions which needed me to show my committment which i dint want.The only reason for me not wanting to get involved is that i have not seen her for 4 long years.So if she turns out to be not my type..what to do..besides she is too close to my family..anything rumour could spread like a jungle fire..Now i am in a situation --i dont want to lose her as friend while friendship is pointing towards a relationship..gosh what to do..

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

GIRLS ARE TEMPORARILY OUT OF MY LIFE....Well friends u all r my friends but this post is abt those who have been really close to me over the past 20 years.There might be many new additions in future but i feel i have more than enough to write a whole book on them--friends who r my lifetime achievements some of whom are fuckers,some saints...the variation goes on..
I will start writing on them in as sequential order as possible..I'll use their nicks or abbvs. for the sake of their identity..

HIGH SCHOOL:

1>>M--The name has little difference to my initials..But that small change has huge impact on our characters.I knew him since i started going to school.He was the joker of all the classmates.Breaking rules was his inborn talent.The entire school knew the bastard he was the only one who wore a different coloured tie--the orders of the principal even couldn't change him. He became very popular with his acts of litchi stealing from the school neighborhood.But all in all he had a heart which beat in resonance with mine..Numerous times he cheated me on money, tiffin,pencils not me only-- he had the entire class under his regime--he called himself the king of cheats.However we were the best of friends..We grew up together with maa always warning me of getting into some kind of trouble coz of him but my father loved him to be my friend..We crossed all the classes together but while on one hand i accelerated on studies..he took the jump towards GIRLS.By the time i discovered what sex and girls were he had already had girlfriends.That created a gap in our friendship--but after i went to college i was back compatible to understand him.He told me abt all the girls he had had on the past.*content are hidden coz of censorship problem*..He is still a gr8 buddy for me to hang out with.U never feel bore with him.We biked the last night of puja in his filthy old rx100.

2>>GC--Nicknamed Goru till the time we felt embarrassed more than him calling that name.He was also what is called a chuddie-buddie.A very disciplined fellow completely contrary to BRB coz of his medical background.He sat with a girl for all the primary years till he gained enough consciousness to try to escape from that girl.I was actually the intermediate amongst us three.however he was not able to metriculate the same year as us coz of some MALE thing.I met him last time in august and we have gr8 time whenever we meet.

KVK

3>>BJP--Sounds political..He only sounds and looks thats all.He does nothing..He sounds like the bastard yelling out fucking swears like bursts of air coming out of his mouth.But as far much as he says he has never ever shit(which i dont believe).U just look at his face at home--the cutest boy in the world--he even makes me feel a rascal at his home.But all in all he is very close to my heart--i 'll always do my best to be of any help to him--and i feel he also feels so.He is one of my achievements in KVK.I pay a visit to his house whenever i go to Guwahati.

4>>AD--The superman.The cute boylike look completely hides the devil inside him.He has always been the greatest showoff especially in case of girls.Lied the two years in KVK about a mysterious girlfriend which we now doubt ever existed.He ended up as far as i know with a girl whom i donot think compatible to him.Anyway thats how the shithead is.

5>>AB--Nakamura.When i entered kvk..the very sight of this man was the source of all the explosions of laughter around.U cudn't stop laughing on seeing him --he had the face --one amongst a billion indians.He was definitely a JAP mistakenly swapped duding a JApanese covert operation in the Northeast.But we buddies had the hell of a great time partying at his home(not the hard ones)..But buddy i miss u a lot..

6>>GBS & NK--These were another two of my greatest buds.Ballav as the first one liked to frame himself as had one of the filthiest mouth in KVK.The greatest reciter of erotica.But he became a fused bulb in front of girls.NK--Paji that what i used to call him though he was noway near similar to one.A decent fellow with same heart as ballav but with a completely different color.He was calm and serious but always helpful.The two fellows were classmates from childhood started off their life at kvk as the 'goodest' guys which soon metamorphosised.But anyway i love these buddies coz they think the way i think.

TJ & SS--Chirkut as the class bullied him..baby boy amongst all..looks all innocent but i doubt the inner side..loyality flashed in his eyes..mad for taht is all to define him.Always desperate to come out of his baby shell.Saha--my benchmate and toughest competitor(though i always feel he is much better to me).Mad for cricket---i still dint quite understand why he wrote in my testimonial 'loved the ones i loved,hated the ones i hated'.However to me his face was completely contrary to Chirkut's--no innocence at all.But all in all i found great mental resonance amongst these guys.

DS--Bamun..we had been great friends back then at kvk but thereafter completely lost track of him.I dont want to write abt him but buddy wherever u r i miss u..

IISER--


JD--2G as he initially abbreviated himself..probably thought it was cool.but gradually warmed up on the concept.I still recall his first day here--1 week late..reached hostel..kept bag and went out straight to play futball!!Btw he knew me since my time in kvk--for he happens to be from the same school as ballav and paji.Soon we became great buddies partly
coz we shared the same language--assamese.He is a champ in all kinds of sports which includes playing with girls(he is a virgin till now!!!)Wherever he goes his first job is to collect information about the whores and brothels there and what rate is going on(though he never happened to use one ever)!!Buys condoms quite regularly just to throw them away uselessly!!
.Even once he was caught at home with one in pocket(dont know how he handled the situation)..It is not that he doesnt get opportunities--i think he doesnt have the guts.He once went to a brothel(OLY pub case) and paid money just to have a look at the
whore!!But on the whole he is a man --of words--of loyalty--of trust.I feel proud to have achieved such a friend.He is the only friend except the school ones to have visited my home and also quite a lot of my relatives.

NK--UUltiman.Handsome hunk of iiser and a great friend.Does the greatest deal of gymming here resulting in his healthy figure(of no use!!)Got this peculiar name coz he vommitts every time he sits on a bus.Gets angry too quickly and becomes cool equally fast.a great judge of character(which definitely comes from the nice parents he got)..Desperate in search
of sex..was involved in the OLY pub case with G2.Dude u r close to my heart.

KS--Netaji..The great political figure of our batch.A man with a golden heart.The only one here seriously in love witha girl.My lab partner.he is a bit arrogant at times but if u adapt to him u'll find out..he is ur greatest buddy.I just like him the way he is.

SP--Pallo..The guy with the purest heart known to me..He is so pure and innocent that u just cant stop loving him..he has got this fuck-face that has no expressions at all.Does such silly activities--u cant stop laughing.Does get senti at times but that is for nano seconds.Recently he had this flight 'kaand' that makes me laugh everytime i look at his face--a sexy girl sat beside him on the plane--he got an erection--he went to the washroom--couldn't toilet--sat down
for laterine--couldnt find a water tap--wiped his ass with tissue paper--found the tap after doing this and finally ended up messing the washroom around.Now what do u say of this dickhead.But anyway he is highly intelligent and i believe his grades should have been much higher.He is too humble to accept his talent and i feel great to have achieved such a friend..

RG--Baba ji.Thats what he is famous as here in hostel.First of my 2 room-mates.A gr8 musician and composer of which i am also proud to have as room-mate.wants to fall in love and even had a kind o relationship going on around the same time i had mine.Bu thats his past and the search continues.baba has his own way of living his own little world--his own way of thinking and his own perception of people.I feel great that i fall in the catagory which he considers good and
wud always like to remain so.

AM--Orkut-chacha..cOZ he gathered 3000 scraps in record 2.5 months time(see his dedication!!)My second room-mate..one of the three students to make a japan trip..probably the one with whom i spend the maximum time here.He is definitely built for engineering..very talented..when i sometimes look at his face in the class i can understand how dejected he feels
to be not amongst the 'heavy -learners'(coz i also feel the same).But again this guy is also greatly desperate of girls--i know of hi frustration for one of his kolkata 'GIRL'friend who always finds some pretext not to meet.Whatever,, he is very close to my heart.

SM--Chacha--The fuck-omedian of our batch.He can turn every good song into a fuck-song with all the bitchy words he can collect--many people do that but his ones are NICE to hear.otherwise very very helpful and generous.God of porn collection An adrent tera patricia fan and a proponent of the russian school here.He is very intelligent and helps in a great deal
in studies.Man i like u.

AD--Doggy..Thats what i call him.He is the only one in iiser whom i really admire.His geniusness makes me try to follow his steps.He is actually like a role model to me.Thats all i want to write of him.and i wish he shines in his life..

Is this a patchup...

Life is in utterly confused position now.No girl in life is the single most reason.Biology was one of my strongholds in the class and i screwed it in the exam.Physics---too bad..Others good..More or less i stand in my same 8 pointer position..Durga puja was nice.. had great hopes of nailing chicks in frustration.But I am me not some Stifler.So a traditional family puja.visited all the pandals with ma and baba except for saptami and nabami..

On saptami i went to my didi's inlaws home to deliver the puja gifts.I had a female friend there..Hoped to meet her ..called he ...she replied she couldnt come that night..but asked me to stay till next day..but my luck forced me to return...so no meeting.However i did enjoy a lot wid my jiju's bro and finally had dinner at a bar.

Nabami --went out with bibek..biked the whole night on a mean RX100..went 30 km out of town at 2 am.returned home at 3 am.Ma suspested me of being drunk..i was greatly shocked..Went to bed with pindrop silence..

Dashami over and back to college.Same old life.It was on 8th october i god a missed call from my ex-girl.I dint know whether to reply or not..once i felt af calling back and swear the devil out.Then i thought of getting a better view of the situation by talking to my cousins..I called them and asked about her.They said that she was a cheat and it was good i had broken up with her.The also forbade me to call her.The next day at 12 pm i got one more call.I called back..It was her.I asked why she had called.She replied just to check the no. and handed the phone over to my cousin.My cousin said i broke her expectations.I felt dumb.was this one more of her games??I wrote a msg wid all the dirtiest slang i knew and sent it to her..She called back and talked to me in crying voice how could i think of her that way.She said atleast i should have understood why she did this to me.I was confused but felt bad that my msg was really really rude. I thought 4 an hour and finally sent another sms stating i was sorry and asked her i wanted to talk to her to clear things up at 5pm. I called at the predefined time and she received.we talked 4 more than 30 min and she told me all the developments leading to her acting that way.Her logic seemed genuine though i dint believe her completely..Thats all till now..